“Everything has to be perfect!”
How often have we heard that? How much stress has that statement caused? And, most importantly, how often was the situation it was used in really that important?
Sure, there are times when things need to be perfect, or darn close. Scientific experiments. Construction of nuclear reactors. Space launches. Administration of chemotherapy. Yet, most of us don’t work with these kinds of life and death situations. We hear this plea for perfection in ordinary, every day situations. Weddings. Birth plans. Surprise parties.
Why is that? Social media certainly plays a role- folks want “Insta worthy” events. Some are even trying to get their events featured by major influencers for exposure or even money. Jealously? Sometimes. If 4 of your college friends have all had “perfect” marriage proposals you might want to keep up with the Jones (if not top them) when that moment arises in your life. Advertising? Sure. No one’s running ads for mediocre diamond rings or so-so floral arrangements now are they?
So what’s the harm in wanting your event to be perfect? For one, it’s incredibly stressful. You will not enjoy one second of your engagement party if you are constantly worried that the music is one decibel too loud or the food table is 1 foot too far to the left. Second, it tends to make you insufferable to the people closest to you, the very people who you supposedly want to share these “perfect” moments with. If all anyone remembers is your meltdown when the napkins were the wrong color no one’s going remember how beautiful the music was. If none of your relatives are speaking to you the next day, it wasn’t worth it, no matter how beautiful the photos turn out.
There’s nothing wrong with having a lovely party. But lovely parties aren’t perfect parties. Sometimes the candles don’t stay lit. Sometimes Uncle Charlie gets a little drunk. Sometimes people show up late or not at all. So ask yourself which is more important- having more “likes” on Instagram? Or truly connecting and celebrating with the ones you love? I know which one I choose.